Living not Dying

Hi Mirella,

not knowing were you want to live and not having any direction in life can become very depressing, I remember the feeling well during my last years in Australia. You are attached to your material belongings??? My first year here (although very enjoyable) also had many moments of depression, depression??? how could any healthy male become depressed living in a place like this you may ask?? Hard to explain...

For the first time since I was 21 I owned nothing, no business, car, house, furniture etc etc etc, only my clothes in a suitcase. I felt completely naked and vulnerable. Living in a hotel without even a cup or kettle to make a cup of tea. I think the most accurate way of describing the feelings I felt at that time would be to say " I felt like a looser" As time went by, common sense prevailed.

All my past possessions required a huge effort and cost to maintain, my car required me to work at least one day a week to maintain it and to make up the depreciation, 20% of my working life to own a car, RIDICULOUS. So consider what a house costs to maintain and the time it takes and the years of toil, 35 years of buying houses, furniture and trinkets just to show the world that I have climbed a few rungs up that ladder of success.

I look back at that time of my life and the only word that comes to mind is "PATHETIC". The only thing that I have to remind me of those days is an English carriage clock that is now worth $2,000, two weeks of toil to buy just to know what time it is when a $5 clock would do the same without having to polish or maintain it. Can you think of any other word than pathetic? I cant...

I’ve now become very comfortable with my suitcase. I look at so many people and wonder if they will ever realize that they should step off that ladder and start living not dying. I don’t want to look back on my life remembering the good times, I want to live them so my advice has to be "LIVE"

Like the Wind

I would like to be the wind

So that as you walked along the seashore

You could bare your breasts

And let me caress you

With my breath

From an unknown Greek Poet-Greek Anthilogy

Angeles re-boot

Hi Mirella, how was Canada? do you want to live there now? Everything is fine in Angeles. I am taking Edelyn to Hong Kong next week, We are staying 5 days and can't wait. There is a Disney World there, it should be a lot of fun!

Won’t be going out much the next few days because there’s a typhoon hanging around so the weather is terrible, a few Islands have been evacuated, we are in a safe area but it's very wet. I would not volunteer this information but you ask about A. as if you really cared... He and his girlfriend have broken up again, for the last time I hope, he is very unhappy at the moment, just yesterday he saw her with another guy...

There is a gorgeous girl in one of the bars I go to, iIhave known her for several months and always have a drink with her when I’m there, She always wanted me to have sex with her and I wanted her too, the only problem is she is a midget... A few days ago I had a few drinks with her and I was feeling a bit frisky so I took her to a discreet hotel for a few hours, I was surprised at how enjoyable it was. The only problem is my friends wont stop joking about it... hehehehe... I'm happy to entertain...

Update on Hapiness

I’ve been waiting for a good story to send but things have been a little slow here. Edelyn and I are going great. The last few weeks we have been fixing up the apartment, painting, new curtains etc. Everything is very cheap here, new curtains for 7 windows was only $150 so its nice to have a change every few years. I still haven’t been caught indulging with the local girls so far but I’m very discreet. A few of my regular girls have moved on for one reason or another so I’m now looking for some new ones. There are thousands of girls here to choose from, there’s no problem satisfying my needs but it takes time to find 2 or 3 compatible enough to have as regulars. Now that updating the apartment has been accomplished I will have time to go prospecting... Edelyn now has a passport and we are planning on going to Hong Kong in November, should be fun. As Edelyn hasn’t been anywhere it will be a good experience for her. My back is improving but it’s taking a long time, might have something to do with my age… hehehehehe… I miss some good conversation but Adrian will be here in 4 weeks, he and his girlfriend will be coming to Hong Kong with us. You are going to Canada? Make sure to send some email…

A River of Rain

My back is improving very, very slowly… but the inconvenience is not stopping me from indulging in my favourite pastime, it’s very easy… I just let the girls do all the work… hehehehehe…

It’s still raining… we are having some of the nastiest downpours I’ve ever seen. Perhaps I told you before of my apartment’s great position, only a few minutes walk from the bars, clubs and restaurants and a five minute walk to a very large modern shopping mall, everything I need is within 5 minutes walk from home. The location is so good that my two friends, André and Felipe now occupy 2 more of the 6 townhouses in the block.

The only problem we have here is that we are not on a real street (no concrete or tar). It’s a very wide street, though a better description would be - a broad dirt road. - Without exaggeration when it storms the street becomes a river… that is, the full width of the road becomes flooded. It’s a strange sight indeed for when the street is underwater it looks like a river with floating houses on either side. The water is fast flowing, VERY FAST, with small white-tipped waves, like rapids. I could not run faster than it flows… Our street obviously has all the run off from the surrounding area. It’s an odd feeling watching large objects floating by your home, the funniest sight was a dog calmly sailing past, right before my very eyes… Fortunately it’s not deep, never more than 12inches and my apartment has never been in danger of flooding, not yet anyway… hehehehehe.

A Baby in Angeles...

The rollercoaster ride on the stock market in the last 5 weeks was not a surprise… A correction was coming and for me not as painful as the back injury I suffered while (feeling like an overconfident adolescent) I lifted a heavy item… The injury is causing me a lot of pain and presently prevents from standing upright…

You asked - Would I have a baby????
I have been thinking about it… in the Philippines having a child is not the burden it would be in the west. Full time nannies costs about $30 a week, private education is also very affordable. The most important thing is if the relationship fails, a Philippino girl does not have claim to a man’s assets providing the man offers support to the mother and child. At present $60-80 a week would suffice. Because of low financial risks many western men have children late in life.
I will let you know when i decide what to do…

You asked - Would I take Edelyn to Australia???
Very risky… Edelyn would fall in love with Australia because Australia is paradise compared to the Philippines and every Philippino girl’s dream is to live overseas. But these girls don’t understand that a good life in Australia comes at a price and that price requires us to work, which is something Philippinos don’t like doing. Our life here... nice apartment, entertainment and restaurant-eating almost every day and night of the week, entertainment most afternoons for me, if we need something we buy it… (clothes etc). Manicures, pedicures, facials, dentistry, medical, maids, movies, holidays… ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS AFFORDABLE HERE. A weekly expenditure for the above list in Angeles is only $600. The same lifestyle in Australia would cost $3000-4000 a week so… ponder awhile…

Adrian's Pain

Edelyn and I have recovered from the malevolent flu in time for Adrian’s arrival a week ago. I’ve been partying a little hard since then and it’s been fun for me, Adrian never recovered from the break up with his girlfriend, for now they are back together but she is seeing other guys, and that is killing Adrian. I can’t see a happy ending; he’s been here long enough to know better…

It’s the monsoon season again, raining non stop for 3 days, everything is flooded, though the fact that we can only wear shorts and thongs hasn’t stopped us from partying, hehehehehe... I can’t be faithful, it’s impossible, here there are just too many temptations but… I am very discreet

BUGGER! My bathroom ceiling is leaking; a separate bathroom roof would protect the rest of the house but the landlord won’t fix it in this weather…

All's well...

All is well here in Angeles Paradise, Edelyn now lives with me and I am content. Though we had two really bad weeks with a flu virus, infected throats and that… had to take plenty of anti-biotics so haven’t been very active. Adrian is arriving next week so have to be 100% fit for that. The council elections here finished a few days ago, the police commissioner said: "The elections were peaceful, only 126 people killed, much better than previous elections" I wonder what the federal elections will be like? We don’t wonder far during election week, its a crazy place…

"I Worship You"

This poem by Charles Baudelaire is dedicated to Adrian, Alberto’s friend who unwillingly must endure the shooting pains of unrequited love…

“I worship you as I worship the firmament of night,
O urn of sadness, great silent woman,
And love you, beautiful one, the more you flee from me,
And seem to me ornament of my nights,
To accumulate ironically the leagues
Which separate my arms from the expanse of blue.

I advance to the attack, and I climb to the assault,
As a chorus of worms climb over a corpse,
And I cherish, O implacable cruel beast,
Even that coldness by which you are for me more beautiful!”

Charles Baudelaire ( 1821 – 1867 )

Back to Paradise

I made it back to the Philippines… I was gone for too long and really missed Angeles.
I should spend the first few days at home but will slip out just to say hello to the girls.

It's so great to be back, to see all my girls is like being in a DisneyWorld for adults, all the dreams and fantasies I ever had coming true in one place and at one time. I always seem to appreciate Angeles more once I’ve been away for a few weeks.