Living not Dying

Hi Mirella,

not knowing were you want to live and not having any direction in life can become very depressing, I remember the feeling well during my last years in Australia. You are attached to your material belongings??? My first year here (although very enjoyable) also had many moments of depression, depression??? how could any healthy male become depressed living in a place like this you may ask?? Hard to explain...

For the first time since I was 21 I owned nothing, no business, car, house, furniture etc etc etc, only my clothes in a suitcase. I felt completely naked and vulnerable. Living in a hotel without even a cup or kettle to make a cup of tea. I think the most accurate way of describing the feelings I felt at that time would be to say " I felt like a looser" As time went by, common sense prevailed.

All my past possessions required a huge effort and cost to maintain, my car required me to work at least one day a week to maintain it and to make up the depreciation, 20% of my working life to own a car, RIDICULOUS. So consider what a house costs to maintain and the time it takes and the years of toil, 35 years of buying houses, furniture and trinkets just to show the world that I have climbed a few rungs up that ladder of success.

I look back at that time of my life and the only word that comes to mind is "PATHETIC". The only thing that I have to remind me of those days is an English carriage clock that is now worth $2,000, two weeks of toil to buy just to know what time it is when a $5 clock would do the same without having to polish or maintain it. Can you think of any other word than pathetic? I cant...

I’ve now become very comfortable with my suitcase. I look at so many people and wonder if they will ever realize that they should step off that ladder and start living not dying. I don’t want to look back on my life remembering the good times, I want to live them so my advice has to be "LIVE"